Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Try-hard Hipster

The Species of Fashion School
This episode is about the phylum of ‘Fashion Design’, and specifically falls into the genus of ‘Try-hard’ being of the species ‘Hipster’.

Fashion Design: Try-hard: Hipster

This person comes from the domain of a pretty condo with a security guard and pool, but aspires to live at an address in the scummiest part of town that borders of the periphery of the ‘indie-music scene’, and surrounded by second hand clothing stores that smell faintly of bed rot.

 According to this specific form of Fashion Girl, all that is cool can be defined in aforementioned self indulgent blogs**. These said blogs list where to eat, where to meet, what to talk about, what is so ‘over’, what is fuckable, what is beautiful, what the trends are, where the best 6$ coffee is, and other pieces of information that fill up the uncreative and predictable brain of the Try-hard Hipster. These ‘rules’ are shared with the world under the false assumption that people care, and/or the false assumption that by merely diffusing this second hand mundane information -will by association- make the Try-Hard Hipster cool.

The Try Hard Hipsters favourite activity is talking about how wonderfully creative and edgy itself is. This is one of the most abbraisive aspects of the Try-hard Hipster because nothing that is created by this person will ever be a genuinely original idea or edgy. Any fashion items created will be heavily if not completely referenced by what the Try-hard hipster has been told what is cool, or ideas intentionally or unintentionally pilfered from other people. Any pilfered ideas will be reasserted to be of the Try-hard Hipster’s creation through continual self-indulgent cyclical conversation initiated and administrated by the Try-hard Hipster.

Social interaction:
Social interaction with the Try-hard Hipster involves the continual reassertion in conversation that in fact the Try-hard Hipster is cooler, more desirable, and most importantly more creative than yourself. The value of appearances supersedes the value of intelligence. For example, having a model friend is more valuable than having a funny or smart friend. To the Try-hard Hipster having people think that she hangs out with skinny people is imperative to survival amongst like species.

Mating Patterns:
Interestingly the mating patterns of this species are completely constant. Mating is desired (however not necessarily reciprocally desired by male subject) when the target male has the following characteristics.
  • The subject male must be in a band or something equally assy that assy people talk about.
  • Subject male must wear unwashed vintage garments, and have sweaty performances in them. Most preferential performances include being a vocalist as technical musical skill is secondary to being in the centre of the arty pictures that will be posted on low traffic self indulgent blogs.
  • A requirement of the male to have is an interest in an area of art of design that is either obsolete and/or not conducive getting a real job.

How you may be superior:

You are a more socially aware, kinder, genuine, and most probably a more creative person.

How you are inferior:

In the eyes of the Try-hard Hipster you may never add up to a “cool” or valuable person, and you will continually be reminded of this during your social interaction.

**[please note: this blog is a form of self indulgent blogging. However, since there are no readers the level of self gratification is considerably hindered.]

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